Why Summer Can Be Draining, Not Restful…And What You Can Do About It
When you think of summer, what comes to mind?
Vacation. Sunshine. Freedom. Longer days. Less stress.
And yet, for many people, maybe even you, summer doesn’t feel that way at all.
Instead of feeling recharged, you might find yourself more exhausted than ever. That inner pressure to “make the most” of these fleeting months can leave you overwhelmed, anxious, and disappointed. And here’s the thing: you’re not alone.
You're not alone if you find yourself asking, "Why am I not enjoying this more?" or "Shouldn't I feel more relaxed?"
Let's unpack why summer can sometimes feel draining instead of restful and what you can do about it.
Why Summer Can Be Draining, Not Restful
1. The Pressure to “Make the Most of It”
Culturally, summer is framed as a time to seize the day. We hear things like:
“Make memories!”
“Don’t waste the sunshine!”
“This is your once-in-a-lifetime trip!”
It’s no wonder that so many people approach the season with big expectations. Whether it’s about maximizing productivity, creating unforgettable family memories, or simply squeezing in all the fun, we’re told that we should be doing more and feeling more during these months.
But here’s the reality: overbooked calendars, financial strain from travel and kids’ summer camps, intense heat, preparing for the coming school year, and family dynamics don’t always magically improve just because you’re on vacation. Trying to manufacture a perfect summer often leaves people more exhausted than fulfilled. And when the experience doesn’t match the expectation? Cue the disappointment.
2. Summer Depression Is Real
While most people associate seasonal depression with winter, about 10% of individuals with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) experience it in the summer. This less-talked-about version can be just as debilitating, yet it often flies under the radar because it’s not what we expect.
Symptoms of summer-pattern SAD can include:
Insomnia or disrupted sleep
Loss of appetite
Heightened anxiety or agitation
Persistent low mood, even on bright sunny days
There are many reasons summer depression may arise:
Heat intolerance and humidity can increase fatigue and irritability.
Disrupted routines from school breaks to travel can throw off sleep, structure, and a sense of stability.
Social pressure to “be happy” can make people feel even more isolated and feeling shamed.
Body image stress tends to spike in summer, especially with more skin-baring clothing and beach outings.
Financial stress from trips, camps, or simply the cost of cooling your home.
If any of this resonates with you, please know this: just because it’s sunny outside doesn’t mean you have to feel sunny inside.
3. Caregiving and Work Don’t Stop
For parents and caregivers, summer isn’t a break; it’s a logistical juggling act.
Full-time working parents often find themselves scrambling for childcare. Teachers and caregivers who finally get a break often crash from months of accumulated exhaustion. And those who work for themselves, entrepreneurs, consultants, creatives, may feel guilty for slowing down, wondering if they’re “wasting” time that could be used to get ahead.
Burnout doesn’t pause just because it’s July. And the expectation that we should feel rejuvenated while still carrying the same (or heavier) load only adds to the fatigue.
4. Comparison Culture Peaks
If you’ve spent any time on social media during summer, you’ve likely seen a highlight reel of other people’s lives: dreamy vacations, backyard parties, scenic hikes, happy kids covered in popsicle juice.
And while those images can be inspiring, they can also create a deep sense of lack or FOMO. It’s easy to wonder:
“Why doesn’t my family feel that connected?”
“Why can’t I afford to travel like that?”
“Am I missing out on summer?”
When we compare our everyday lives to curated snapshots, our own experiences can feel underwhelming even if they’re meaningful in quieter, more subtle ways.
Strategies to Manage Summer Burnout
If summer isn’t delivering the reset you hoped for, you’re not alone. The good news? You can shift how you approach this season. Here are some strategies that might help:
1. Redefine What Summer Means to You
You don’t have to love the heat. You don’t have to travel. You don’t have to post about it.
Ask yourself: What does rest, fun, and meaning look like for me right now?
Maybe it’s staying in town and catching up on reading. Maybe it’s time alone. Maybe it’s simply not rushing.
There’s no universal definition of a “successful” summer. You get to write your own version.
2. Give Yourself Permission to Rest
Rest isn’t something you need to earn. It also doesn’t need to be productive.
You don’t need to write a novel or learn a new skill to justify taking it easy. A short walk, a quiet cup of coffee, or a 10-minute break without your phone all count.
And yes, resting on the couch and doing absolutely nothing is valid too. Watching a show, staring out the window, or even napping in the middle of the day doesn’t make you lazy; it makes you human. You’re allowed to relax and have a “vacation from vacations” if that is what you really need.
We live in a culture that glorifies constant doing. But your body and mind need space to recover. Prioritizing rest – true, unstructured, and unapologetic rest — is a powerful act of self-care.
3. Manage Social Media Consumption
Notice when scrolling leaves you feeling worse. Social media in summer is often a highlight reel: vacations, beach days, backyard parties. And if your day looks more like deadlines, dishes, and trying to stay cool, it’s easy to feel like you’re “doing summer wrong.”
Add to that the emotional weight of doomscrolling during this time of political volatility and uncertainty, and it’s no surprise your nervous system might feel fried.
In a recent post, 11 Powerful Techniques to Boost Mental Resilience During Uncertain Times, I shared strategies that help build inner strength. Spoiler alert: spending more time on your phone isn’t one of them.
Try a social media break—or even just shorter windows of intentional scrolling. Reality is quieter than Instagram, and much easier on your mental health.
4. Set Realistic Expectations for Family Time
Not every moment with your kids, partner, or extended family is going to be magical. And that’s okay.
Sometimes connection looks like watching a movie in silence, taking a walk, or simply coexisting peacefully. It’s not about creating constant “core memories,” it’s about being present when you can, as best as you can.
5. Create Micro Moments of Joy
Joy doesn’t have to be big to be meaningful. Try noticing the small pleasures:
A favorite song on the radio
A walk at sunset
Saying “no” to something you don’t want to do (what a revolutionary thought!)
When we let go of the pressure to create epic moments, we make space for small, satisfying ones.
6. Support Your Mental Health
If you’ve been feeling persistently down, tired, anxious, or irritable, it might be more than just stress; it could be summer-pattern depression.
Therapy can be helpful, as can lifestyle adjustments such as improving sleep hygiene, staying hydrated, and maintaining a balanced diet. These basic needs often get disrupted during summer, but they make a big difference in how we feel.
7. Drop the “All-or-Nothing” Thinking
You don’t need the perfect vacation. You don’t need to check every item off your summer bucket list.
Partial rest is still rest. Some joy is still joy. Progress, not perfection, is the goal.
If you’re feeling tired, moody, or behind this summer, know this: you’re not broken. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re human.
Summer can bring joy AND fatigue. Sunshine AND sadness.
Instead of chasing a picture-perfect season, what if you focused on what you actually need right now?
Give yourself permission to recalibrate, to redefine what matters, and to rest, so that you enter the next season with clarity and energy, not burnout.
If you’re struggling and not sure where to begin, I offer a free 15-minute phone consultation to see if I might be a good fit for the support you need. You don’t have to navigate this alone.